The Moment the Sky Shattered
by ShisoLoveli
Summary: On a hot summer day Kakashi returns, and the story begins. KakashixSakura, with hints of various other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

She undeniably hated it. The feeling seething through her, racing through blood and veins until it settled mellow quiet, into her very bones, so that she would walk with it no matter how much blood she lost. No matter how many battles were fought,-mentally, physically, verbally-until she herself seemed to forget, because she had learned to live with it. Just as one learns to live with the grief of death.

She hated how she let them screw her over so many times. Them, those,_ so-called men_. All men with hidden red eyes. For her mere 18 years of life, she decided she had undoubtedly encountered more than her fair share of red eyed men, stupid, arrogant, power-hungry, red eyed men.

Sasuke and Kakashi with their deadly hidden Sharingan, Naruto with his ferocious Kyubi eyes.

Men who effortlessly worked their way into her heart, and just as effortlessly left her, walking off one day and never looking back. First Sasuke when she was twelve. Her first love, because even though she was so young and naïve and selfish, that was what she felt for him, and no one but her could say what feelings she had experienced. Then soon after Naruto, whom she had slowly grown to love as well, though in an affectionate way, a sort of sisterly love that infused her entire being and made her feel, as silly as it sounded, as though he belonged to her. And then one day he had just left. Left with Jiraya without a thought as to how it would affect her. Well perhaps it was with a thought, for Naruto wasn't, hadn't ever been, truly as imperceptive as he appeared, but that thought had not been strong enough, urgent enough, to stop him from leaving her.

And finally on a quiet spring day _he_ had left her. Left her with a pat on the cheek and an affectionate smile she could see under his mask. She still hadn't seen his face, she had long given up that goal. Kakashi was Kakashi, silver hair and face mask included, she hadn't wanted it any other way. She had needed a constant in her life and he had been there. There, though a bit distant, when Sasuke had gone. Then when Naruto had left, and after that, becoming an important fixture in her daily life. A necessary fixture. If she had needed to train, which was often, he was there. He'd been there to take her home safely, make sure she ate, the little things that she seemed to effortlessly forget about.

She had cried openly to the world when Sasuke left. In private when Naruto had, but still he had known, and when she had arrived with puffy eyes hidden by the magic of concealer he had still known. He never spoke it allowed, but it was in the way his voiced quieted and his touch somehow turned even more gentle. Those days he would not pat her on the head as usual (he knew it infuriated her when he did. She claimed the gesture made her feel like a dog or a small child being rewarded for completing a task), instead he would lightly rest his hand on her shoulder. And though the gesture was a quick one, it meant that he knew and she loved him for that. She loved him for the quiet way he had done everything. She loved that even when he'd seemed engrossed in that dirty book he constantly read, he always, always was aware of everything around him, aware of her. And that was why his leaving had hurt the most.

The night before he left, she had kissed him softly on the cheek, even when a blush stained her cheeks and his eye widened the slightest bit. They had been training as usual, and during a break she had simply leaned forward and kissed the skin exposed above the mask, so that she felt cloth and skin beneath her lips, and something she had never felt before. Though it was not love for him, since she had already loved him for so long, it was something more, and it made her realize that he was not just Kakashi-sensei. He was someone who had been with her in her life, and perhaps she could not just love, but be in love with. That revelation shocked her into a small, "thank you for everything".

A simple gesture, that she could blame on the fact that he was going on an extremely dangerous mission the next day, and hell, she might never see him again.

The curse of the ninja life.

She had waited and trained. Days, that slowly slipped into weeks. Weeks that fell into months. Time a lot longer than necessary, though she managed to push that fact into the back of her mind. And as time grew, along with the sadness, the hatred for them all grew until she was a jumble of bones and tears and angry thoughts that she never revealed. So she'd waited, until one day Ino had come running, crying that Shikamaru was back, and the others… they were missing. Shikamaru was not sure if they were dead or alive. They'd been ambushed their second month there, and separated, Ino told her. He had not heard or seen any of them for the time he'd been held captive. Shikamaru on sheer luck and genius smarts, had escaped when a boat his captors had taken him on, was taken over by other enemies of his captors , and he had pretended to be a corpse floating in the water. Which given his then current emaciated and bloodied-tortured body, had not been a hard feat. He had swam to shore, slept for two days, walked for three, until he discovered a tiny village. He'd stayed for a week and then left to return to Konoha, to report what had happened, to return back to Ino. And Sakura, eyes empty, had held Ino while she cried from relief of Shikamaru's safety.

Sakura received the news without feeling surprised She had known when he'd failed to come back, though this knowledge had not stopped her from feeling her shattered heart disappear all together. He had promised her he would when he could, and Kakashi always kept his promises, though some arrived late. And she had known as she still knew now the only thing that could make him break one, to let a comrade down, was death itself.

And this knowledge slowly distinguished her hope.

And now, a little under a year later, just at the start of the month of her nineteeth birthday, she should have known better. Known because it was him, and even if he faced death, he would still escape it and shatter the world that she had slowly built since then. So when Ino came running to her again, with the news he was back and he actually had kept his promise, albeit very late, she was not surprised with him.

Yes she had dropped a perfect gold lacquered teacup, smashed it into a million golden pieces that glinted like fallen stars as she sank slowly to the floor. She had been surprised at the news, but not at the fact that he was back, because it was just so undeniably Kakashi, to return on a hot summer day, when Sakura was getting along just fine, and completely change her world.

She had felt relief and happiness and worry, but most of all, she had felt anger. She knew it was stupid and unreasonable anger. She knew it wasn't his fault that things had turned out the way they were. It had been his duty to go. But the anger still flared up because she did not need her life to change once again.

That day was a week ago. The knowledge was a week old. She knew, but still, she did not want to know. She did not want to start loving him again after getting used to loving the memory of him. She couldn't handle it again. Which was why she had not visited him in the hospital once. Which was why, even though he was being released today, she did not run to his apartment nor was she going to attend the celebration tonight at the newly opened, larger Ichiraku. She was going to train, just as she had every other day, then go to the market, then go home and sleep. Perhaps read a book as well. Normal things that would distract her and would not hurt her. So she did so, even as she heard the music from the block over floating through the air. It was to this music she was lulled into sleep.

In the morning she woke to the chirping of the birds and the hot bright summer sky slipping in through her slightly opened window. She lay in bed, content for a minute. This time of day was the only time she was completely calm. Her mind was too fuzzy from sleep to remember what was bothering her, even if it only lasted for a minute.

She got out of bed and showered. Made herself tea and sat at her table, slowly sipping, until the doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock and guilty sprang to her feet. 8:30. She was half an hour late for meeting Ino for breakfast. She had forgotten all about it.

She ran to get her purse and to open the door.

Stopped as the person standing before her turned around.

"Yo."

* * *

So what do you think? 


	2. Chapter 2

"Yo." 

He stood, hands in his pockets, silver hair falling haphazardly every which way, mask slipped low over one eye. The same, always the same. Perhaps a bit leaner, but that was to be expected. His eyes were on her own, but she wasn't ready for that, so she stared at his cheek, that same one she had kissed. A light scar now ran over the spot.

She just stood there, silent. She didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to react. Was she supposed to jump into his arms (not that they were open) like a happy lover would? Kiss him? Hug him like a friend? Ignore him, as someone who had been betrayed would, though he had done nothing of the sort. Unsure, she remained silent.

His gaze fell on her purse.

"Are you going somewhere?"

She nodded. Found her voice somehow.

"I'm late meeting Ino for breakfast."

"Oh."

There was a few seconds of silence, in which Sakura still refused to meet his eyes and he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck. Nothing was said of his absence for the last year from her life, nor her absence of the last week from his. Not knowing what to say and not wishing to stand there in silence, Sakura stepped out and closed the door behind her.

"I'm going to meet Ino now."

Her voice was calm.

"Ok. Do you want me to walk you?" His offer was polite, just as he was.

"Sure"

She began down the street, and he quickly fell into step beside her. He was close, so close and palpable that she wanted to weep or slap him, or even kiss him. They were less than a foot away from one another, but neither moved closer. There was no kiss of cloth or bumping shoulders, as there had been before.

It was slightly awkward and confusing, she didn't know what to say, though she knew what she wanted to say. But she kept quiet and in doing so kept the words down. It actually wasn't that hard at the moment. Every few feet, someone would come and say welcome back to Kakashi. Say hi to her. Finally they arrived at the restaurant.

"Would you like to join us?" She hated it. Hated the politeness. She had never been this polite with him for so long. Even when they first began training, the polite remarks would be followed by teasing or accusations. Never this distant.

"No thanks. I promised Asuma I'd stop by."

She nodded.

"Thank you for walking me."

He nodded.

"Bye."

She turned away.

Felt her heart sigh.

Then his hand was on her shoulder, so gentle and light and substantial. It made her stop completely. She had thought that she would have to live with just the memory of this touch, this little gesture. It was the same and it wasn't because he had always done it whenever she was upset about Sasuke or Naruto, never when she had been upset with him. Not that she had ever been before this. Not this seriously at least.

"Sakura."

His voice was right behind her ear.

"Sakura."

Whispers that managed to melt the anger she had begun to work up because he had come back. Anger because he had shown up and walked with her and not said anything. Anger because she thought he was going to let her walk away.

The tip of his thumb brushed lightly against the bottom of her bare neck, delicately. It made it hard for her to breathe, and it made her feel. They stayed that way for a few minutes.

"What is it Kakashi?"

"Can you meet me later?" His voice was barely above a murmur, making her unconsciously lean backward to hear him better.

"I have to train with Tsunade."

"Tomorrow morning then?

"I have a mission tomorrow."

"Then when?"

She didn't answer. She felt him lean closer.

"You can't avoid me forever Sakura."

She turned towards him, his hand falling back to his side.

"I can try."

She met his gaze with a fierce softness.

"Do you want to?"

He put his hands back into his pocket, straightened. His gaze fell onto the trees to his left. Impersonal, seemingly uncaring. Hardened attitude. She knew what was happening. This was him, and he was one of the hardest people to read, but the most easy to predict. Though she had never stood like this with him, never had him stand like this in front of her, she knew his character.

If she answered yes, he would nod and turn away. He would respect her wishes even when he knew she didn't want them, but needed them. Even when he knew they were unreasonable. He would walk away.

She didn't want to watch him walk away again.

"No."

There was a pause, in which the toughened corner of his eye softened.

"I'm glad." His voice was quiet, serious.

"I'll find you when I get some free time, Ok?"

"Ok."

Then, perhaps because he felt they were being too serious, he reached over and patted her head. Smiling that smile whenever he did so, visible eye crinkling. Then he was gone in a puff of smoke, before she could get mad at him for the gesture.

Not that she would.

She appreciated every touch he had given her, and would give her.

Especially since she had thought she would never feel them again.

She, however, was not going to let him know that.

Not yet at least.

* * *

So, I admit this chapter is a bit abstract. But I've sort-of lost the way on this story. I'm not sure what's going to happen anymore. But this will be continued. 

Oh yeah, and I put Sakura's birthday in Summer, when it's actually in Spring or something, but it's for the sake of the story, so you know.

Anyway, please review, it's very appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been two days.

Two days since she'd seen him.

Exactly 57 hours, 2 minutes, and 43 seconds.

And for those 57 hours, 2 minutes, and 42 seconds, she had not stopped thinking about him.

Even when Ino had yelled at her for being late. Even when Tsunade had yelled at her for being slightly distracted at practice.

Even when she had almost fell from a tree during her simple mission of looking for a lost child.

She had not stopped.

Couldn't.

Didn't want to.

She walked toward their old training ground. It looked as though she were strolling around aimlessly, but there was a direction in which she was going. She had looked at his house, at the local bar, the general training areas in the village. The only other places she could think of was Team 7's old training ground, the bridge on which they met, or Asuma's place. She did not think he would be standing around at the bridge, and she had no desire to visit with Ino's old sensei. He wouldn't be at Tsunade's, it was too soon for him to be assigned a mission.

So she walked, slowly, hands at her sides.

When she arrived it looked empty. She stood there for a few minutes, and was about to leave, until a spot of dark black and silver caught her eye. There in the branches of a tree, he sat, seemingly meditating. She set off across the long expanse of grass and flowers and dried blood, not hurrying. Kept her eyes focused on him. His remained closed, though she knew he knew she was here.

She stopped by the trunk of the tree and sat beside it. Touched the rough bark and traced her finger tip over deeply carved initials. The height of the carving suggested it was made by a child. The depth of the cut revealing that it was a ninja in training. The fancy cursive gave away that the nameless carver was a girl.

R + K

She wondered if the K stood for Kakashi. But if it did, who did the R stand for? She could not think of any girl whose name began with R, none of the trained ninjas, nor any of the dreamy, love sick teenagers. Perhaps it was Kiba, and some nameless girl. But the edges of the carving were worn smooth and the insides blackened. It was old.

She didn't know how long she sat there, sunshine flowing through the cracks in the leaves. She didn't turn around when she heard a soft thump behind her as he jumped down from the tree.

"Hi." Her voice was calm again. She didn't know why.

"Hello."

Silence.

"You aren't busy today? No missions or training?"

"No."

Usually she would be training in her free time, but today a more urgent matter had come up.

She didn't know what to say, but she did not want there to be silence again. So she spoke.

"Have you eaten today?"

"No."

"Want to go to Ichiraku?"

"Sure."

She got up and dusted the dried grass from her pants. They started to walk.

"So, what's new?"

The question was casual.

"Nothing really."

_Nothing really. You just came back and it's been Hell for me. I haven't slept well and I'm mad and relieved and mad that I feel relief that you're back. I'm still mad that you left me. I don't want you to ever leave me again._

"I'm about to get my first team from the Academy."

"Congratulations."

His eye crinkled in a small smile.

"Thanks."

The walk seemed to end quickly.

Sakura led him to the counter. A table seemed too intimate. She would have to stare into his face. Talk a lot. He would be able to read her emotions should they show on her face.

They ordered and in a few minutes the steaming noodles arrived.

"Itadakimasu." Both said it quietly, and both seemed to eat just for the act of eating. Neither seemed to enjoy the meal. They finished in a few minutes, and the chef whisked away their empty bowls. There was nothing left to distract them.

Sakura got up and Kakashi followed. Sakura walked, this time truly aimlessly. It was slightly awkward, though less than it had been the day before. She led him into the middle of a field and abruptly sat down.

She heard him sit behind her.

"So what's new with you Kakashi-sensei?"

_Sensei_, he was no longer hers. But it made him feel more familiar to her.

"Nothing really. Just trying to fade back into my old life."

His old life. Was his life different now? She was a part of his old life, did he think she was different.?

"Was… What was it like?"

She didn't have to explain what she was referring to.

The sky was changing.

"Hard."

His voice was even. He was quiet for a long time before he spoke. His voice was soft antiquity.

"They tortured me. I never knew if it was day or night, or if I would ever live to see any of this again."

He paused and the sky faded to a fiery red.

"I could only hope"

Hope. Sakura had given that up along with her old life. She turned to look at him. His hair was tinted gold. The sun was setting in the distance.

He was sitting about a foot away. His back was to her, much as her back was to him. Legs crossed. She felt a smile tug on her lips. Trust him to mimic her.

Carefully, inch by inch she scooted backwards until her back was against his. He didn't move away or say anything. A breeze stirred their hair, mixing pink and silver into the color of a dreamed perfection.

"Did you ever… did you ever stop hoping?"

"No."

He shifted the slightest bit.

"Did you?"

She was quiet for a long time.

He didn't rush her answer.

"Yes."

It was her turn to pause.

"I thought you were dead. I thought you had left me, just like they did… I thought I would never, ever see your face again. Not even to mourn you properly."

Her voice seemed to float away with the wind. He didn't move, nor did she. Not even as the stars began to wink. Pinnacles of hope to everyone, even them.

"I'm back now."

"Yes, you are."

The grass swayed around them.

* * *

Whoa, time passes fast. I didn't even realize how long. I actually had most of this ready, but just never got around posting it. I hope you all are still reading. 

In the beginning I was trying to show Sakura's confusion, but somehow as I started to write it just flowed into this... quiet anguished confused relief. I don't know how to explain it.

Anyway if you like this and can't wait until the next time I update, you should go read a one-shot I wrote entitled, Death Smiles Prettily. The writing is a tad bit more infused, and it's sort of the same mood as this, just a bit sadder. So if you love angst, you'll probably like it a whole lot.

Until Next time.


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura sat in front of the mirror, brushing her hair. Studying her reflection. She wondered if she looked that different. She was the same height as before, though her body was more toned. There were light shadows under her eyes. Her hair was longer, though so many more hours of training in the sun had taken away some of its luster. She looked more serious than before.

She wondered if he noticed.

He'd been back for almost three weeks. After that day in the field (Nothing had happened then, they had simply sat there, not talking, until he stood and said he'd walk her home. He had. No more touching or anything. Though their honest talking had chased away the awkwardness. ) she'd met him when she could, or he'd find her when he could. They'd talk, but not touch. It was like getting to know him all over. Though once she had caught him staring at her, a look suspiciously similar to longing and sadness on his face. But it had been gone in an instant, leaving her to wonder if she had just imagined it. If it had only been there because she'd wanted it to be. Because she'd hoped.

She was going to meet him at his house tonight. They were going to the barbeque, it was Asuma's birthday and everyone was invited. She slid the brush through her hair once more and stood. She was wearing a light summer dress. Simple and white. Her Jounin vest lay draped over the chair by her desk. Her hair fell in loose waves from the bun she'd had it in earlier from training with her students. A jade bracelet graced her slender wrist.

She grabbed her purse, and walked out the door.

The air was hot and humid and the atmosphere seemed to be tinged in a ruddy red glow, a summer evenings in the village.

She walked towards Kakashi's place with her eyes closed. The air was suffocating and hot but she didn't mind. It was like walking through thick, floating clouds before a midsummer's storm. A muggy blanket around her skin, protecting her with it's heat.

When she reached his apartment she knocked on his door. His voice floated through the wood.

"Come in."

He was in his living room, gear scattered across the floor.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He hadn't looked up when she entered. He seemed intent on looking though a packed backpack. He was wearing his usual outfit, sans vest.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, just let me find…" He pulled out a dull looking kunai and dropped it to the floor. Picked up a nicer, sharper one and tucked it in.

"Ok."

He looked up. Stared, eyes quickly flitting up and down her frame. Blinked and took a few steps towards her. Stopped and turned into his bedroom.

Sakura could feel the blush on her cheeks.

He emerged in his Jounin vest and headed toward the door.

"You look nice."

The compliment was thrown casually over his shoulder but Sakura could feel the blush flood her cheeks again. She silently berated herself for it and the fact it made her seem like a silly little academy girl..

"Thank you." He held the door open for her and they walked down the steps to the streets. The streetlights were on, the store lights spilling into the darkened sky. The barbeque joint was four blocks away. They took their time, strolling calmly past the glowing store windows.

"Hold on." Kakashi abruptly turned into a store. Sakura waited outside, watching as he talked to a ninja behind the counter. Their faces were serious. Something prickled at the back of her mind.

"Everything ok?" She asked as he came out.

"Yup." His eye shifted into a familiar crinkle, indicating that he was smiling under the mask. "Let's go."

The prickle at the back of her mind would not go away. It wasn't until they were only a block away from the barbeque that it morphed into a suspicion.

"Who was that?"

"Who?"

Kakashi looked up from his book. Nobody was on the corner they were standing on.

"That man. In the store."

"What store?" Kakashi's voice remained calm with a bit of questioning, but Sakure caught the slight shift of his hands, as though tensing to face an attack.

"The store with the green canopy. The one you stopped in to talk to a man." Sakura flung a hand in the direction they had just come from.

"Back there." She added, making sure to erase any opportunities that he had left to feign ignorance of what she was questioning.

"Oh. Back there? Just a friend." He answered quickly, smiling innocently. She knew he was trying to end her questioning.

"Why did you look so serious when you were talking?

She let the accusation slip into her voice. Before he could answer the tickling at the back of her mind took force and formed into a solid thought.

"And why, were you packing when I was at your house?"

He didn't say anything. He knew she knew why.

Ever since that day on the field her anger had slowly dissolved away. Day by day it had dissipated just a little more until it was gone. In it's place fear grew, a fear so potent she'd feel her heart clench every now and then.

The fear was worse than the anger she'd felt. It was substantial and she had reason to feel it. Somehow she kept her voice was steady It was probably due to her experiences of placating a panicking individual on the brink of death..

"Don't you think it's a little early to be going on a mission?"

He looked into her eyes.

"I can't stand around doing nothing forever. I need to get back into the swing of things."

His voice was steady.

"Yes. But still. It's not as though you need to be going on one, especially a highly ranked one."

Her voice was insistent, strengthened by the fact that she knew she was right. Shinobi didn't have to worry about packing for an easily ranked mission.

"Sakura-"

"No." Her voice was hard and she turned away. "Don't."

He stayed silent. Waited. She hated he knew what to do. She hated that he was so calm. She hated she was acting like this, had been acting like this. But after all he wasn't hers. Her eyes darkened at her last thought.

She hated that as well.

"You've only been back for a few weeks." Sakura reasoned

"I know."

"You spent one of those weeks in the hospital." She reminded him, as though he couldn't recall that fact for himself.

"I know."

"You've only been training seriously for a week."

"I know."

His voice remained flat, neutral, understanding. She took a few agitated steps forward to distance herself. Stopped and moved forward again as though she wasn't far enough..

He stayed where he was. She took a few deep breaths and tried again.

"You might not… you could…"

He took a few steps forward. Until he was right behind her Whispered.

"Sakura, _I know_."

Her shoulder's were shaking so slightly it seemed to be the effect of the wind passing over her shoulders, but Kakashi knew better. Sakura, for her part, was not crying. She had promised herself she would not cry anymore for him, but she still felt her heart beat, over beat into a suffocating throb that she couldn't ignore.

Neither of them moved.

His chest briefly brushed the top of her back every time he exhaled. She could feel his breath that came though the mask on her ear. Could feel his mask covered lips kissing the top of her ear whenever he let out another breath. It made her feel weak and strong all at the same time. Her mouth twisted into a sardonic grin. How cliché.

He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't." Her voice wasn't edged with malice, or filled with pleading. She was simply speaking the words as though they overflowed from somewhere inside her..

It slid down to her arm.

"Please don't."

He turned her towards him.

"Please don't leave again."

His arms were around her and she pressed her face into his chest.

But still she did not cry and her voice remained soft and steady.

"Please." Sakura muttered, lips sliding over the feel of thin cloth and skin. The feel of him around her was whole and substantial. Real. Something she could hold onto.

"Just don't."

Kakashi's only response was to slide a hand up tp her hair and gently tangle a hand into the strands, gazie moving towards the span of darkness between the tops of buildings and starlight.

THE END

………………………………...

I'M KIDDING! Haha. At first I thought about ending it here. Because I'm not sure where to take it from here at the moment. I had the beginnings of a whole action episode written out, but I'm not sure it will go with the tone of the story. Ah well, it will all work itself out.

Review.


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